Squid Drama

8 Jul

This has nothing to do with fashion or anything of the sort, but it was just too good to pass up. & since we’re nearing the end of the World Cup, it’s the only reasonable time I could post this & have it make some sort of sense.

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In what has been a World Cup full of off-the-pitch intrigue, Paul the psychic octopus has emerged as the real star of the event. With Spain’s 1-0 victory over Germany in Wednesday’s semi-final match, Paul is now a perfect 6 for 6 in predicting winners. The victory took out any suspicion that Paul was a “homer,” seeing as he bet against his home nation of Germany. Who wouldn’t like to see more Paul’s in the professional world of guessing?

Unfortunately, as with the case with most clairvoyant creatures of the Cephalopoda class, Paul has begun to receive death threats in an act of thuggery from fans who are trying to intimidate and silence him. Thankfully, he will have none of it.

After correctly predicting Germany to defeat Argentina in the quarterfinals, Paul began to receive notes from angry Argentinians who threatened to make a meal out of him.

Oliver Walenciak, Paul’s keeper, spoke on his behalf, telling the Telegraph:

“There are always people who want to eat our octopus but he is not shy and we are here to protect him as well. He will survive.”

I imagine that at first he was afraid, he was petrified. Kept thinking he could never live without predicting World Cup matches. But Paul spent so many nights thinking how he’d never guess wrong and he grew strong, and he learned how to carry on.

Paul also skirted some controversy as he predicted Paraguay to lose to Spain in their quarterfinal match, thus removing the chance for the world to see some free nudity. But, alas, thanks to her kind spirit we will still get to see Larissa Liquelme run naked through the streets.

So now as Paul remains perfect as the world awaits his decision on who will win in the finals, between Spain and the Netherlands. This is for all the marbles.

Source: ONTD & Fanhouse


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