Archive | June, 2010

Get ready to jizz your pants, Twitards

30 Jun

One pop-culture phenomenon I hate, you ask? Easy. “Twilight.”

I like Robert Pattinson a lot; aside from “Twilight.” His other films actually show his ability to act…& not to mention, he carries a tune like a songbird. I can’t hate on him. & as much as Kristen Stewart’s “my life is so hard” attitude annoys the ever-living shit out of me, I can’t hate on her too much either. She did a pretty okay job covering “Angel from Montgomery” during her role in “Into the Wild.” & also, I like her new hair color….

Anyway, the new Twilight movie, “Eclipse,” comes out today. Will I see it? Probably not. But this gives me the perfect opportunity to present you with the creepiest Twilight merchandise for purchase. & yes, gays & girls- you’ll be happy to know you can rub your privates all over Edward Cullen’s face if you really want to.

01. Bella’s engagement ring

How much do you want to bet this marriage is going to fail if the Twitard fiancee or the closeted gay man giving this to his fiancee actually wants this as their engagement ring?

02. Edward Cullen silhouette wall decal

…because everyone knows having a shadowed man lurking in the corner of your bedroom watching you sleep is sexy.

03. Twilight dolls

You’re an idiot if you think 7 year old girls are the ones buying these to play with in their Barbie dream house. $100 says women between the ages of 18-35 are the ones spending the most money on Twilight dolls & shoving them in their dream houses…better known as their vaginas.

04. Edward Cullen shower curtain

Cos what’s hotter than a floating head watching you take a shit?

05. Edward Cullen panties

Granted, these were custom made…but I guarantee you they are for sale somewhere on the internet. I don’t even feel like I have to explain why this is creepy or why the girl (or gay man) wearing these probably won’t be getting laid once these are made visable…unless it’s really dark or their partner is really drunk/was slipped a roofie.

06. Twilight body shimmer

I pray to God every night that one day I actually see a man purchasing this.

07. Twilight bandages

Now, this isn’t so much creepy as it is ironic…right?

08. Twilight Condoms

If my boyfriend ever came over to my house & pulled out a “Twilight” condom, our relationship would be over in less than 3 seconds.

09. The Vamp

I saved the best for last. The Twilight dildo. Yes- dildo. It even sparkles in the sunlight. Am I kidding? Absolutely not. What else does it do?, you might ask. According to the product description: “The Vamp retains hot and cold temperature. Toss it in the fridge for that authentic experience.” I have no words.

…you’re welcome.

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More hair, more flare

28 Jun

There are two things I have loved for a long time, that I am glad are finally getting a little recognition: lots of rings & full brows.

A lot of times, I deck my fingers out in rings & leave that to the extent of my accessorizing. Not only does it make me look like a total badass (hah), but rings can be some of the cheapest & best looking pieces to bring together an entire outfit.

Now, because of my Greek heritage, I’ve got some eyebrows. I like to refer to them as the Yeti that lives on my face, which I professionally take care of once every two weeks as to not frighten anyone or walk outside looking like Frida Kahlo. However, I’ve never been a fan of thin eyebrows & have always told the women taming the beast above my eyes to keep them at a medium width. Lately, I’ve been noticing this catching on & it makes me happy.

Something else that makes me happy? Seeing both of the things listed above in MANIAMANIA‘s beautifully perfect lookbook.

Photos courtesy of: FashionSquad

Cherried to the max

26 Jun

Hello again, readers. So much has been going on, it’s insane. I’ve been working a lot (I’m a music journalist: I review concerts & albums & drink too much whiskey because it’s free) & my hands feel like they are about to fall off from writing so much. But enough about that, let’s review some of my favorite things over the past week or so.

01. Taylor Locke & the Roughs

– This song has been my main jam for the past few days. Oh God, it’s just so good, I think I may bust.

02. Red lips, red nails, red wine.

– Aside from feeling like I should be backstage at a Motley Crue concert, I’ve been loving this look lately. (This was a screencap from video chatting with a friend back home, & though we’ve been laughing about it, I can’t help but love on my red lipstick.)

03. The cherry blossom girl

– If you’re an avid reader of fashion blogs, chances are you know who this lovely little French lady is. If not, I highly advise you get your little butt over to her blog, because not only is she beautiful- but Lord have mercy, does she own some beautiful clothes & a wonderful camera.

04. Liberty of London nail polish for MAC in Blue India

– I love, love, love this nail polish. It’s my new favorite color & I didn’t even give it a second look before I actually saw someone wearing it. I’m not one to approach people about various things they are wearing, but when I saw that polish, I had to have it. The thing is, however, the Liberty of London collection at MAC came out awhile ago, & though they still have some products on shelves, this polish may be hard to find. I called around to 4 different MAC stores before I finally found a location that still had  few bottles. I ended up buying two (this was about a month ago) & one of my bottles is already close to empty. If you can find this color, grab it!

brb….

19 Jun

Hi all- just a little note to say I am going to be taking a break for a week or so. I just finished this quarter of school, & I honestly have no desire to look at a computer for a few days. My eyes are burnt to a crisp from sitting in five different 4 hour classes for 11 weeks straight, looking at a computer. I’ll be back around shortly. & also, now that classes are over & this blog has served its purpose for a certain class, it will now be going back to randomness. I’ll still do pretend outfits every now & again, but I liked my blog the way it was before- random & chaotic. See you soon!

Day trip

14 Jun

For those on a budget this summer, mini-vacations (day trips) are a great way to spend the day away from reality & have fun with your friends & family. Personally, I love aquariums & getting to go to one is always an adventure. Thus far, my favorite aquarium I have visited is in Chattanooga, TN- but for those who live in Northern California, the Monterey Bay Aquarium is pretty amazing, too. I highly recommend a visit!

As for the outfit, I kept it pretty simple & a little delicate. I love black & white, so when I base an outfit around those two colors, I try to only add one pop color. In this case, I chose a yellow bag by Lucky Brand- however, the nice thing about black & white, is that you can choose any pop color you want & it will go together perfectly.

When You Wish Apon a Star…

13 Jun

I usually don’t post on weekends, but since I missed a few days this week. . . .

Popular vacation spots during the summer months are theme parks. As a matter of fact, I am flying to Orlando in a few weeks to play around Disney & The Wizarding World of Harry Potter (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) before I go back to school. Now, I used to live in Orlando & actually worked for the Disney theme park, so I know how hot it can get- not only in Florida, itself, but also standing in all of those crowds at the park. If you’re not covered in sweat & cussing out whoever you’re with due to the heat making you a raging bitch, then there is something wrong with you.

However, with the right attire (& let’s face it- a squirt bottle fan), you can avoid pissing off your crew with your bad attitude & disgusting body odor.

Keep it basic! Do not pile on the accessories or layers. The simpler, the better. Leaves the heels & hobo bags at home, ladies. You’ll be outside & walking around all day, so there is no need to torture yourself with stiletto pumps  & a heavy bag. Stock up on those $2 flip flops from Old Navy, basic t’s & tanks, & a small bag. The less you have on you, the cooler you’ll be- & the cooler you are, the happier you are…which is something you & you’re vacation party will be very happy about.

Frivolous Friday

11 Jun

I am a little obsessed with Alexa Chung. Thing is, I’ve never seen her show (I believe it was some talk show type of thing on MTV?) & I don’t even know if it’s still around (poor college student = no cable). However, this girl’s style makes me wanna jump with joy. I don’t think I’ve seen an outfit of hers that I hate. Oh, Alexa Chung, let me be you for just a day.

Source: weheartit